


Heartless

by rahdaleigh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But Not At The End, Everything will be sad, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm allergic to happy, M/M, SunaOsa and Kiyoomi are stupid, They don't treat right my poor baby Tsumu, i think, there will be more characters but I don't want to tag them all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27797053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rahdaleigh/pseuds/rahdaleigh
Summary: But then, when he thought that Atsumu would yell, howl, bare his teeth so he could bite...the twin didn't even chew. All the blonde did was look at him dead in the eye, not even allowing him to read neither his eyes nor his facial expression.Even though not a second had passed before Atsumu's face misshaped onto a more feral one, the boy gave him a smile full of something utterly broken. At that moment he knew it: the man in front of him had already sharpened his claws. Then, Atsumu dropped the bomb. He repeated the exact same words the dark haired had told him earlier, although Tsumu,his Tsumu, pronounced them while having his mouth full of venom and bitterness.—For all I care, you could starve.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first ever work in English (which is not my first language), so if anyone wants to give me tips (because I know I can improve like A LOT) or sees any mistakes I didn't realize I made, please feel free to tell me :))
> 
> This won't be the best Sakuatsu fic out here, but I'm a sucker for them and I love a good angst with a happy ending (basically I love suffering like a bitch) . So I hope you enjoy it!

That Thursday, the sky shone bluer than any other morning, somehow quietly anouncing the calm before the storm.

Miya Atsumu didn't like doing things by halves. People always liked to exceed at what they did, the blond was no exception, yet he could content himself with the knowledge that he worked himself to the limit every time. Nevertheless, Atsumu was aware that there were times when the wisest decision one could made was to simply stop trying. Sadly, that rule also applied to volleyball.

Atmusu hadn't been joking when he told Osamu to drop out and let some other player occupy his position. Deep down, his twin was also cognizant of the fact that Atsumu included himself on that appaling statement.

That's way he regretfully stepped out of the game that early autumn afternoon.

Everyody was dead silent, not expecting to see the confident setter ordering coach Foster to change him for someone else. Atsumu didn't look them in the eyes when he took his things and exited the court, letting them know _something_ was really bothering him: not even dead the setter would abandon the court willingly before finishing a match, he almost didn't want to let go afterwards. The Jackals ended up winning the game, sensing that it hadn't been the same. It wasn't anyone's fault, the substitute setter was far from decent, but he wasn't Atsumu: he didn't push them to their limits, always having the certainty that they could do it; their names weren't yelled while the ball was being set; he wouldn't make jokes on their way to the locker rooms; he didn't even made sure that they were all good before departing, unlikely Atsumu did. Only then they realized how much they trusted their setter in and out the court. Well, _most of them did_.

In spite of all the feelings, in spite of their neccessity to cheer the setter up, that day Miya hadn't waited for anyone. He headed straight home, dialing his twin's phone in search of some sense of comfort.

  


The following day, Atsumu wouldn't find reassurance among his teammates, instead he found anger.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was beyond furious when Osamu called coach Foster.

 _— He's grumpty 'cause Kageyama's better than him_ —had mockingly said the twin.

If he was being honest, Sakusa had been midly preoccupied: the team needed their setter in peak condition, otherwise it would cost them the league and it was in the public domain that the wing spiker liked to reach his goals. 

Atsumu was slightly pale and he had bags under his profound honey eyes, his shoulders were slumped as well as his head, which has tilted forward, making his platine locks obscure his line of vision. He perked up when Hinata hurried to his side, smiling widely while hoping that nobody had seem him but luck wasn't on his side and all of them had noticed his strange behaviour. Sakusa could have also noted it if he hadn't been so focused on _killing_ him.

— What's wrong with you, Miya?

Hinata hadn't even uttered a word when the storm poured down on Atsumu with all its powerful force. Unluckily for the team's future, Atsumu was a hurricane of his own, carrying on his shoulder a strenght to be reckoned. Sakusa and Atsumu's relationship was like a clash of titans, none of them inclined to be tamed, even less pleased to be taken down. Neither of them were planning on accomodating to each other's needs out of the court. 

The most hated part of Sakusa's character for Atsumu was the way he carried himself, presenting his being like the embodiment of perfection. Sakusa always looked at people above his shoulder and _being taller than them had nothing to do with it_ ; Kiyoomi was as proud as him, the only difference between the both of them was that while Sakusa had everyone prasing the floor he stepped on, Atsumu was _lovingly_ degraded by his brother and friends on a daily basis.

Sakusa Kiyoomi stood on steady ground with his feet perfectly placed on his high mountain top, casting an eye above everyone else as if he was some kind of god. Scaning the crowds, making sure that every detail was below him, below his control. When he spotted something out of place he created an earthquake, silently at first, then swallowing you whole before beeing able to notice it. He twisted the ground at his will, unmercifully changing its form and structure until he deemed it worthy. He wouldn't care about the cracks and holes he created on the surrounding entorn, for it belonged out of his domain. Sakusa filled in the damages of his reing by picking up pieces from shameful places, leaving them hollow behind him. Onca again, he didn't care as long as he could feel complete. Kiyoomi was reclined on his throne, with his head indifferently propped on a fist, the very same one which he would use to squash any cockroach on his way. _Needless to say_ , he would be wearing his gold gloves, without entertaining the thought of staining his cherished harmony.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was the man at the top of the world. Miya Atsumu was the sailor who appeared over the horizon with every tempestuous sea, bringing along him the promise of havoc in his smile.

Sakusa provided calm. Miya rejoiced in noise. Kiyoomi was an eartquake. Atsumu was a tsunami. 

But Atsumu's natural disaster wasn't planning on accommodating, nor was Atsumu himself keen on it. Besides, what was the sea if not colossal and vicious?

— Good mornin' to ya too, Omi-kun.

— Don't bullshit me. You left the match because Kageyama is better tan you? Don't make me laugh.

_"Fuckin' Samu had to open his mouth, right? Imma kill that bastard when-"_

— You should already be accostumed to being the second one, being Osamu's brother and all that. So don't dare to let that happen again at a game or-

Meian interfered before things scalated: — Sakusa, don't be so harsh, you don't know what he is going through. Let the guy breath.

But the knife had already digged his way between Atsumu's ribs. The setter felt the air constrict around his lungs, he didn't hear what Meian or Hinata were trying to affirm him, he wasn't even able to comprehend what Bokuto was yelling at his direction. His eyes were still fixated on Sakusa's: the spiker was looking at him like he looked at a insect before stomping on it. _And Atsumu couldn't stand it._

The thing about Sakusa steady present was that he didn't need praises or insults, he only need himself in order to find support. Because of that, the spiker never cared about the outcome of his actions: he did them if he pleased, with only himself being aware of the ulterior motives behind his behaviour. Sakusa didn't give a second thought about what other people could think and that combinated with the fact that he was a too-blunt-jerk morphed on an ugly truth to Atsumu, beause that meant that Sakusa had meant every harsh word he had thrown his way. In that moment, Miya realized Sakusa was like the earth he stomped over everytime he was back in Hyogo, he was like the pointy rocks which slept calmly on the side of the river where Osamu and him liked to play at when they were kids. Sakusa Kiyoomi was indeed a rock.

_Unwavering. Unbreakable. Untouchable._

Atsumu was hotheaded because he was passionate. He was intense due to enjoying what he did for a living. He didn't mind breaking his back every damn day if that meant he could play every match till the very end. He was as selfless at volleyball as he was at every other aspect oh his life, he gave and gave _and gave_ until he didn't have nothing left, he did not expect much in return: only people, his spikers, to make his hard work count. He only expected people to treat him with the amount of respect he deserved, with the amount of which he handled them with.

What he was doing wasn't important, he could be cooking just like he could be running, it didn't matter to him, because everything he did, he did it with all the care in the world. He poured his whole heart at every single action throughout his day. He loved like he breathed: constantly, with need, without limits. When he devoted himself to something, to someone, _he always gave and gave and gave without asking for nothing in return_. And the moment he was left drained, he gave even more.

Miya Atsumu was selfless, caring, impetous, honest and generous. He was as much as a hard worker as he was of a big fat jerk. But above all, Atsumu was love. Miya was the raging wave that lashed itself onto the lost ships, he was the light rain that wetted lovers clothes while dacing beneath him . Water molding itself time and time again like it pleased, waves pooling down in the bathtubs, in the river banks, in the ponds. Miya Atsumu was the ocean.

_Bottomless. Ceaseless. Endless._

Nonetheless, having Sakusa Kiyoomi told him that he was destinated to be the second option irked something in him, stirred the same part he swore himself to not open again. Having the king of a solitary mountain telling him, the god of the seven seas, that his feelings didn't matter caused a lagoon of blood to be shed.

Sakusa knew he had comitted a mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.

He had awaken the beast who sinked its teeth on the steadiest constructions, bringing them one by one to the bottom. Causing even more chaos and desesperation among those poor filthy souls who dared to threat him.

But Sakusa was _ecstatic._

— Ya were dyin' to tell me this, didnja? _Well_ , I'm sorry to be the one to break this news to you… —from Inuoka to Barnes, everyone held their breath, awaiting for the venom to get out his mouth. Sakusa felt like he would fall on his knees under his intense stare, both figuratively and literally— but ya don't even know me, _Omi-kun_. Why would I hafta give a damn 'bout you?

Saying that while showing them all his smile, displaying his sharp teeth and straighting his posture as if he was yelling at him, _daring him_ to take a step in his direction. The fire in the blond eyes stating that if Sakusa took the risk, he would tear him apart. The setter said those things nonchalantly, as if he truly didn't care, yet his teammates knew better.

Sakusa had always been conscious of which buttons to push when it involved Atsumu's temper.

Atsumu licked his lips, throwing an arm around Hinata's shoulders and disappearing into the locker rooms without sparing him another glance. The atmosphere was tense, more and more suffocating with every pasing minute. The entire gymnasium was perplexed, astonished in their places, the possibility of Atsumu not making a cocky remark hadn't crossed their minds.

— Air's heavy —had said Bokuto after a couple of hours during one of their breaks, voicing what the group was thinking.

Atsumu had casually slung one arm over his head in a mocking manner, causing the white haired to spill a little bit of his water onto the floor. Sakusa grimaced. The setter was wearing one of his charming smirks.

— Yer bein' a bit dramatic, aren'tcha Bokkun?

Atsumu was considerate, deciding to hide the the triggering act of discord, cause and guilty of the uncomfortable situation. However, spiker and setter always had banters like that one, they wasted all of their day bickering, competing even over the smallest of things. They danced on a battlefield full of mines, toying around each other, waiting for a strike. It wasn't unusual for them to fight, to not recoil from giving a blunt answer. They were like helpless soldiers incapable of leaving the front lines. Notwithstanding scars made on their marred skin, one of them raised a white flag from time to time. This time, Atsumu was the one who took a step back. Due to the setter's tries to lift up the mood, nobody commented on what was obvious: he hadn't set the ball for Sakusa that afternoon, not even once.

Atsumu had taken a step back because he needed a run to pounce again.

His team was not perciful enough to recognize for a while the decision he had made: he wouldn't set the ball again for Sakusa during trainings, not because the man turned knives into words, not because the curly haired had hurt him, of course not. He simply decided that because Miya Atsumu was love, but his surname was pride.

And nobody was going to set foot on it.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was an earthquake. Miya Atsumu was a tsunami. An earthquake could cause a wave monstruous enough, a tsunami big enough could shallow the entire earth. They were trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea: either they could go deeper in ther hate or they could let themselves be carried gently by the stream which will lead them to the surface.

At their cores, Sakusa and Atsumu were not mad, not always ready to engage in conflict; in fact, they were extremely tired of baring their fangs all day long. In their hearts they were only kids, reduced to the most uncomplicated parts of their heavy iron masks.

Water and stones.

Rocks and ocean met at the sea shore, creating a sacred place, lulling every creature with its beauty. But Atsumu was drowing way too deep, way too far for someone to reach out for him. The decision was made on an instant: Atsumu recluded himmself on the darkest, deepest cave he could find, placing the key on the highest part of the ocean, somewhere were the light always reached so he burnt his eyes if he dared to take a look up.

Water and pebbles met at the cliffs where they were born every dawn, licking every curve on its descent, leaving trails of blossoming life behind. But Sakusa was far too proud, far too scared to make his way down. Not a second was wasted: Sakusa would drown on his lonely throne, sinking his battleships on the joyful rivers, soaking his hands in heavy, sticky blood and never looking down.

Then, one sudden day, a tranquil flood overcame the towering volcano.

Little flows of magma slowly made his way to their new, wider home, no longer feeling opressed among those thight and obscure walls. Consecuently, magma and ice finally met.

Unexpectedly, it didn't feel treacherous or deadly. The mist that covered them was lovingly caressing antagonistic creatures who seemed to coexist, it almost felt like it was presenting them the most guarded secret of it all. Clouds lowered with a calculated rythm, wind gently picking up the fallen leaves, sturdy trees which provided a secluded place at their feet, sun peaking shyly from behind the deafening presence of the stars, shadows who didn't bat an eye so as to guard their dreams; all of them guilty of actiones which resulted in the succesful caging of moutains and ocean in the middle of an unique spectacle. They languidly observed both living things, smiling at the same time they discovered the mystery.

Opposite souls unaware that both were yearning for each other.

The elements left knowing that it will be a difficult path for them to follow.

Inunaki, Hinata, Bokuto, Meian, Barnes and Thomas inspected the pair, inkling something harbouring in the deepths of that unexplored realm. Shallow breaths were heard, nobody dared to point an accusatory finger and incriminate the culprit. Sighs were exhaled, shoulders were tensed, actions were forgotten.

_Cross our hearts and hope to die._

Being the caring captain he was, Meian talked without looking up from his half-put shirt: — Tomorrow morning, banters will be heard again, everybody has a bad day from time to time. So enjoy the silence while it lasts.

_We still have a long way to reach the sky._

It could be a half truth or a half lie, nobody could knew, even so their shoulders felt lighter, their hearts no longer preoccupied with petty arguments. The oh so precious silence didn't survive for long: Shouyou Hinata illuminted the room with his laugh, Koutarou Bokuto's voice was heard in every corner, Shion Inunaki was the one shining most ardently with his brilliant smile.

  


— Even though I don't get it, I know that you don't like him, Kiyoomi —had said Komori in an awfully hot summer night. Atsumu and Kiyoomi had fought again, that time due to Miya accidentaly smacking Sakusa's head instead of Adriah's—, but he's taking care of you.

Sakusa snorted.

— It's not like I coerce him to do it.

— Jezz, I know it! But think of it: he's your setter, he takes care of all of you in the court and he also does it out of the court. He makes sure that you guys don't get sick or injured, he cooks for all of you, he does a lot of things he doesn't need to. So at least be a little considerate to him.

— He's only doing his job.

Komori abruptly got up from the chair, frowing down at Sakusa: — Then you should also do your job.

Months had already passed since that talk on the balcony of Sakusa's home, yet he still continued to not apprehend what his cousin had meant.

  


After Meian's heartfelt statement, everything went back to how it normally was. Waters calming down, pieces laying were they belonged. The world continued its course peacefully, time didn't wait for anyone during that colder autumn day. Slightly leaning back, destiny cackled immensely. _Fools, they were all fools._

Miya Atsumu walked out without looking back. Sakusa Kiyoomi didn't reach forward.

Somewhere, a clap of thunder roared.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on Twitter with the exact same name :)
> 
> I'm writing all the chapters while listening to this [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7hCYfi8QPalWIhTahbXJrP?si=AP5k1SamSqG_9t9Fkfzppw)  
> 


End file.
